“Part of the reason it’s so hard to explain what happened is that if a person hasn’t been gaslighted before, it’s very hard to understand why someone would stay in an abusive relationship.

Gaslighting is a major component of narcissistic abuse, and in my experience, it (along with my own unaddressed damage and issues) is what kept me in the relationship; it’s what makes you doubt your perception of reality; causes you to gradually lose your self-confidence; and creates a spiraling world of chaos around you where you no longer know who was wrong or right. You begin to question if maybe you are the monster in the relationship; after all…. I did say that thing/ throw that wine glass/ make a scene.

Before my abusive relationship experience, I never understood why a woman would stay in a relationship with an abuser. It was very cut and dry to me, and didn’t make any sense. What I didn’t realize from the outside is that the abuse doesn’t necessarily start out in a very obvious way; it creeps in slowly like a poisonous gas. The more you breathe the gas, the less clear your thoughts become. By the time things start happening that a sane person would easily recognize as abuse, it’s generally too late- you are no longer quite “sane.” Your sense of what has happened has been completely distorted by exhausting mental games and emotional torment. Your perception of reality has been twisted and manipulated so severely, you are no longer certain what to believe, or even who you are. I think if someone hasn’t experienced that, it’s almost impossible to understand that you actually can be driven (temporarily) mad by another person.” -Anonymous

Survival Diaries

"Doubt Your Perception of Reality"